Parenting Neurodivergent Kids is a marathon, not a moment.

Marathons, not moments.

Parenting neurodivergent kids is no walk in the park, right?

Any parenting is hard. But parenting neurodivergent kids can often be something else. And it’s something that comes with a heavy dose of feeling isolated. Feeling hidden. There can often be a level of shame. As though you’re doing something wrong.

I wanted to talk about it on my blog because it struck me after a conversation with someone who’s not in the field of therapy, who had come across a parent in their line of work, and they remarked to me that they felt this parent was almost trying to hide their struggle. And I wasn’t surprised by this. It was a feeling of familiarity. One I know as a parent myself, and one that I witness in clients too.

I don’t think this singular blog post can possibly touch even the sides of the experience of parenting neurodivergent kids, but perhaps it can shed some light on why or how therapy can be a helpful, healing space.

Living life with neurodivergent kids

When you are a parent of a child that isn’t the same as others, there can often be years of doubt. Years of trying to battle on. Years of trying to figure out if it’s your parenting. If it’s something you aren’t getting right. There can be quiet comments made, little digs. Often well meant but slightly insensitive jokes made. It can feel never-ending.

When you get closer to answers, or figuring things out, you may feel like there could be hope – that things will get better, things will change; there has to be support now, right? And for so many parents, those answers come with a cliff-edge; you jump off to find that you are still completely alone to deal with everything. I think that being able to turn to therapy can help with that. It can give you someone who isn’t part of the everyday who is just there for you. A space to breathe. A space to be seen, heard and not judged.

With many parents there is a sense that they have been on edge, or trying to balance everyone’s needs for a really long time. All parents are juggling needs, households, families to some extent, but when additional needs are present in these situations, it’s all harder.

What makes it harder?

Parenting neurodivergent children can require an ongoing, constantly replenishing bucket of enthusiasm and optimism – that sometimes feels hard to refill. Being an advocate for yourself, your child or children is draining. It’s sometimes why having therapy can be a great outlet – support that is there whenever you need it. Self-care isn’t a luxury in those scenarios; it’s essential.

Parenting, in all situations, is a thankless task. But for some parents, it can feel like a very one-sided relationship.

As a parent of a neurodivergent child, or child with other needs, there can be a loneliness without peers who share your experiences – something that’s often spoken about is having a sense of belonging for clients and their children; finding somewhere where you don’t feel pushed out, rejected or on the outside. Again, being able to book a session, whether that’s online or in person, to talk to your therapist can be a lifeline. It doesn’t require you to give – you can just turn up. You can access therapy in a way that works for you, without having to bend or compromise.

If this feels familiar too?

For some parents, this isn’t unfamiliar territory. If you grew up feeling like your own needs were somehow too much, invisible or inconvenient, that sense of being on the outside doesn’t always end with childhood. Watching your own child navigate a world that wasn’t built for them can stir up that same old feeling, just in a different jacket.

If any of this is where you are right now, I’d be glad to be that place where you can just turn up, exactly as you are.

Hannah Campbell is an NCPS-accredited psychotherapist specialising in childhood emotional neglect, trauma and low self-worth. Online across the UK and in person in Rayleigh & Southend-on-Sea, Essex.