Learning self-soothing techniques to help with anxiety can help prevent feeling overwhelmed, simultaneously grounding you when you need a moment of calm. Anyone can use them – and they’re genuinely useful whether you’re going through a stressful patch or working through something deeper.
Struggling with anxiety and stress is never fun; however, it can be managed and you’re not alone in feeling this way. Many people experience feelings of high anxiety, worry and stress at times. For some, though, that sense of overwhelm runs a little deeper. If you grew up in an environment where your emotional needs weren’t consistently met – something known as childhood emotional neglect, or CEN- you might find that regulating your emotions feels especially difficult. Not because something is wrong with you, but because you never had the chance to learn it. Self-soothing techniques can be a really helpful starting point.
You might be wondering what self-soothing is.
Self-soothing techniques are things you can do to regulate your body and nervous system – almost like a reset. They can include breathing techniques, touch, sensory items that you can hold, movement and more.
You might want to try self-soothing techniques if you feel disconnected from yourself, have been feeling out of touch, or have some sense of not quite being present. This can happen after periods of prolonged stress or high anxiety – and it’s also really common for people who experienced CEN (Childhood Emotional Neglect), where emotional disconnection becomes second nature over time.
3 Self-soothing techniques you can try wherever you are:
- Deep breathing – deeply inhaling, slowly exhaling. Exhaling slower than you inhale can help you focus on the letdown of your breath. This gives you a sense of control as your body relaxes.
- Calming music – something that gives you comfort and a sense of relaxation. There are many apps available with sleep sounds, including rain soundscapes or white noise; you may have something that you find particularly soothing. You could search on Youtube for calming music too.
- Stretch and relax – this can look like tensing your muscles and releasing them from the top of your body through to your toes. Clenching your hands and then fully relaxing them. Noticing any tension in your jaw and letting it soften. Paying attention to where the tension sits also helps build bodily awareness over time.
Self-soothing and self-awareness
If you feel as though you struggle to notice how you’re feeling at all — or feel rather indifferent, confused, or overwhelmed by the idea of trying any of this — you’re not alone. For many people, especially those who experienced childhood emotional neglect, tuning into feelings can feel unfamiliar or even a little daunting. It’s not something you were necessarily taught.
Something that has really helped my clients is to practise regularly tuning into their feelings — even in small, low-pressure moments. This is something we can work on together in therapy, or you can begin to explore at home. If you’d like a little assistance, you might want to try one of the exercises on my resources page here.
If you’re curious about whether childhood emotional neglect might be part of your experience, I’ve also put together a free guide — Does this sound like you? Download it here.
Ready to take the next step?
I work with adults in person in Southend-On-Sea and Rayleigh, Essex (Mondays and Tuesdays), and online across the UK. If any of this has resonated, whether you’re dealing with anxiety, stress, or a longer-standing sense that something from your past is still getting in the way – I’d love to have a chat.
I offer a free 15-minute discovery call with no pressure and no obligation. It’s simply a chance to talk, ask questions, and see whether working together feels right.
If I’m not the right fit, I’ll help you find someone who is.