If you know you want to stop people-pleasing, and you’ve started thinking about counselling, it might feel like a minefield. But it doesn’t have to be. Looking for a counsellor is a little bit like dating. You want to find the right person for you!

But where do you start looking to find a counsellor to stop people-pleasing, and how do you know you’ve found the right one?

Start the search to find a counsellor to stop people-pleasing

You may be able to ask around for recommendations if you’d like to see someone nearby, and it’s nice to know that they’ve got a good reputation from relatives or work colleagues. You may not want to see someone that someone else has seen or be able to if it’s someone too close to you (it would be unethical in some situations too!)

If you’re based in the UK, you might try a basic web search, which will probably bring up results from websites such as:

Directory Listings for Counsellors – Now what?

So after looking through some directory listings, you can get a feel for different profiles, and what some counsellors look like, It’s a good idea to see who appeals to you, and sounds like they work in a way that you would get on with. For instance, if you aren’t interested in working with sand or painting – a creative art therapist probably wouldn’t be your first choice.
It’s also important to consider your budget when looking – and narrow down your choices to suit yourself.

If you are on a tight budget, please don’t think you won’t find a counsellor to stop people-pleasing. I and many other counsellors offer concessions for people who may be on a low income, students or NHS/Emergency Services etc. It is always worth asking – even if not stated directly, it can be at a provider’s discretion.

Trial and Error

Once you’ve got your shortlist, get in touch with a few and see which one you’d like to book with.

To get a feel for if the counsellor will be suited to working with you on how to stop people pleasing and it’s not mentioned within any of their online profiles – ask them if it’s something they’ve worked with before. They should be able to tell you if they’re comfortable working with it or they’ll be able to refer on to someone else.

You don’t have to stick with a counsellor forever. If it doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t feel right! But – I would recommend giving things a little bit of time. Much like dating, it takes time for a relationship to form – and will depend on your level of comfort and openness too. Counselling; unfortunately, isn’t a magic wand. No counsellor can make everything better upon your first meeting – but you will get a feel for if someone is right for you and if you feel like you want to work with them pretty quickly.

So, your key actions to find a counsellor are:

Work with me to stop people-pleasing

If you’d like to know more about me, you can read a little more here. And if you’d like to get in touch and discuss starting sessions to work on breaking free from people-pleasing or anything else you can either give me a call or fill in my contact form on the contact page here.

If it’s easier, mention that you’ve read this blog post and would like to start sessions. I know it can be nerve-wracking when you make that first call, but I’ll do my best to ensure any questions are answered and to put you at ease.

To find out exactly what a first session will look like, check out the blog post about what happens when you start counselling.